Maltese Morning Coming Down

"I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head it didn't hurt."

“I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head it didn’t hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert.”

The day started out rough for the Malt.

He had stayed up late savaging his toy hedgehog “Hedgie” and playing chase me – chase you.

He should have known that after a wild night comes a morning of remorse and bad photographs.

Looking bad, Max. Feeling bad, Dad.

 

Ready to face his many fans and dodge paparazzi.

Ready to face his many fans and dodge paparazzi.

However, a full day was planned so there was no time for coddling.

Perhaps sunglasses, the preferred disguise of the stars, would work equally well for the Pupperoni.

Time to hit the K Streets, perform the morning constitutional and head out in pursuit of the the strange and amazing.

It didn’t take long to find something strange. Well, it seems strange to me but maybe you folks can figure out Korean videos.

Does anyone in this poster look remotely like he or she was in love? You could sell hemorrhoid cream with these expressions.

Does anyone in this poster look remotely like he or she is in love? You could sell hemorrhoid cream with these expressions. I guess love needs more discovery.

For example, look at this movie poster for a TV series called “Discovery of Love” and see if you can discover anything happy or loving in it.

The description doesn’t help much:

“Han Yeo-Reum (Jung Yu-Mi) is in love with her boyfriend, but her ex-boyfriend, Kang Tae-Ha (Eric), who realizes his faults appears in front of her.”

Thanks for nothing.

I’d peg it as a collection of very unhappy Korean youth but maybe their reaction to love is an odd cultural thing like on Futa Futa Island where if someone gives you an ice cream cone you are expected to scream filthy imprecations at them. OK, I made up that last part.

Whatever you do, don't turn around and walk away because then you're not surrounded anymore.

Whatever you do, don’t turn around and walk away because then you’re not surrounded anymore.

Or how about this poster  for a K-Flick called “You Are All Surrounded.”

Now, how can these people surround anything if they are all clumped together as if in an invisible elevator?

I mean, really, you could escape these twenty-something crime fighters simply by walking in any direction other than straight ahead.

I suppose the girl with the bullhorn would yell at you. “Stop, Gangnam style!” But I digress.

Nanako-san accepts the deposit of a Malt with an irritated disposition. That's OK, Max, just wait until she expresses your glands, you'll love that.

Nanako-san accepts the deposit of a Malt with an irritated disposition. That’s OK, Max, just wait until she expresses your glands, you’ll love that.

Max had an appointment scheduled at The Beauty Salon for Doggies so we couldn’t linger at the Korean video store whose catchy name is Jip Hyun Jon.

Jip Hyun Jon. Say that 3x fast while eating peanut butter and saltines. Worse than Beteljuice.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned the lovely Miss Nanako, proprietress of the salon, in previous posts.

She is Max’s wonderful groomer and an all around delightful person. That probably accounts for her mutt salon getting five star ratings from Yelp and everyone else.

OK, Max, you are up next.

OK, Max, you are up next.

I never posted a snapshot before because she is notoriously camera-shy, even in her lair.

This time I was determined to get photos of her and her canine clean-up emporium.

Inside the Beauty Salon for Doggies. Nanko-san's assistants were hard at work on demanding customers.

Inside the Beauty Salon for Doggies. Nanako-san’s assistants were hard at work on demanding customers.

Nanako-san delivers the completed Malt.

Nanako-san delivers the completed Malt.

Max loves Nanako-san but he hates the grooming process. He is literally shaking by the time we hand him over for his ordeal.

It was a busy day at the shop. Shown here are a couple of well behaved customers, a smiling Shih-Tzu and a small pretty poodle.

The staff of three are always busy and appointments must be schedule three weeks in advance, longer at holiday times.

His official haircut portrait. Ripped and ready for the holiday season.

His official haircut portrait by Miss Nanako. Ripped and ready for the holiday season.

While Max was getting trimmed the AJF and I attended to numerous errands.

We left him there for about 2 hours, just long enough for him to work up a major head of steam and fury.

By the end of that time, he had been spiffed up, had his oil changed, tires rotated and was prepped for our Thanksgiving Holiday, coming up in a few weeks.

Looking good, Max. Feeling mean, Dad.

Miss Nanako always takes a post-haircut photo for her clients.

She can get Max to look at the camera which is not easy to do as he is a master of evasion.

Max had, as usual, developed a massive case of bad attitude and therefore spent most of the afternoon sulking behind my chair.

I call it the “Maltese Look of Death”.

You know what I like about all this? Nothing at all.

Q: You know what I like about all this?
A: Nothing at all.

21 replies

  1. That was a hatchet job. When you’re small like Max, you need a lot of fur to make you look bit, rough and tough. He looks meek and petit. (Max, remember to stop my fur cuts in the future-we have a deal).

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    • When he gets furry, folks call him fat and while he is indeed a tad “plump-ish”, shall we say, it’s less noticeable and he’s much more streamlined after the hair cut. The meek look is to distract us as he plots revenge.

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  2. Cheer up Max, Miss N could have made you look like a silly girl Malt with bows and other frou-frou accoutrement not befitting a handsome dude like you.Groomers often try to do that to Sam and I have to rip those suckers out before we hit the road for him to save face and whisker in the ‘hood. Have a restful weekend and get the perky mojo back to hit the streets, ‘Maxwell-style.’ 🙂

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    • Ah yes, frou-frou bows on a manly Malt. Nanako and I have had that discussion but I know she’s humoring me and just waiting for an opportunity to weave some feathers in Max’s ears. The feathers-in-the-ears thing is one of her signature grooming techniques and I must remain vigilant in defense of Max’s macho image.

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  3. He is very fall and festive (well, the background is festive). He is alive. I will say that. And I like how your groomer only works on white dogs. It’s good to specialize.

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    • Come to think of it, I’ve not seen many dogs of color (“colour” for Helen) in her shop so maybe you are right. Maybe it’s just easier to see where the dog washer missed doing a good job. Do you have dogs or cats, Kerbey or just cattle?

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          • Well, Jemima has a snaggletooth and she is a survivor of Hurricane Katrina in 2005 in New Orleans, about 10 now, and she is barely tolerant of Tonto, so she has no reason to gussy herself up. Plus, when she sits, she splays her legs out (must be a hip issue), so she is not very ladylike to begin with.

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  4. I see what you mean about the dog look of death. Bilbo is already overdue for his annual trip to the dog salon which is intended to help a poor misplaced Scottish Border Collie adapt to the frying Australian summer heat. The poor dog turns a light shade of grey when he’s trimmed and it’s also like sticking the dog into a lycra cat suit and every little bulge and blemish standout like the Andes mountains. Not really a good look for a dog with a generous supply of love handles. I make it sound like this clip is a regular thing whereas it’s only happened once and I swear I almost combusted in the process. He wasn’t keen on the sound of the clippers and beyond coping with a hairdryer. He’s a bit sensitive.

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