Santa treated Max very well. The small white dog’s treat closet is now stuffed full of exotic goodies.
We’re talking New Zealand deer lung, Hawaii pork jerky, organic beef jerky by that great hunter Trader Joe, grilled duck products and lots of poi cookies.
All this for a creature that supposedly descended from fierce wolves that hunted dangerous, gigantic prey and tore their dinner from the heaving beasts’ throats. OK, that was getting a bit too graphic but, really, when did dogs start eating such delicacies as New Zealand deer lung, which by the way, Max absolutely adores?
What a haul, and this doesn’t include all the squeak toys, poo bags and other goodies that showed up at his house this Christmas.
Meanwhile, I had what you might call a typical husband moment this Christmas when I realized at the last minute that I had forgotten to wrap one of my gifts for the Alpha Japanese Female (AJF).
I knew she was going to run to the corner store so I waited for that chance to do the wrapping. I knew I only had a couple of minutes. As soon as she left I jumped up and ran to the closet where we keep the wrapping papers and grabbed the bright red paper, a pre-made bow and some tape.
Some quick cuts, a deft wrist maneuver and – viola! – a lovely Christmas present ready for under the tree. Except for one minor detail. I had grabbed Happy Birthday wrapping paper by mistake.
Time was running out, the AJF was on the homebound leg. Too late to rip off the paper and start anew. What to do? How to salvage this incident not just for me but for husbands – nay, all males – everywhere.
And then…Eureka! I had the solution.
Later, I proudly gave the AJF her gift. She admired the wrapped present and, as I had hoped, started to giggle when she realized I had used the wrong paper but after every incidence where the paper said “Happy Birthday”, I had hand-written in felt marker, “Jesus”.
She gave me the gimlet eye but admitted, “Nice save.”
Categories: Max's Stories