It’s official. Hormel Foods will release a new version of Spam exclusively in Hawaii.
Yes, we’re talking a Portuguese Sausage-flavored Spam that unites two of the islands’ favorite meat products in one can with an expiration date measured in centuries.
Only in Hawaii. Well, that makes sense since Hawaii consumes more Spam per capita than any other state.
How much? Well, roughly 5 million pounds a year which is the equivalent of 6 cans for every man, woman and child in Hawaii.
Oh sure, there is that dark secret that both Guam (16 cans per person per year!) and American Samoa have us beat in per capita consumption.
But neither is a U.S. state so we ignore those statistics, scream “neener, neener, neener” and declare proudly, “We’re #1!, we’re #1.”
Spam is available at McDonalds, Burger King and Jack in the Box and at just about every restaurant from greasy chopstick dive to fine dining establishment. It gets the gourmet treatment by foodies: truffled Spam, Sriracha-sauced, with jalapeno quesadillas and even sandwiched in a glazed donut.
We have street fairs dedicated to Spam; in fact the annual Waikiki Spam Jam occurs on May 2nd.
We sell Spam tee shirts, accessories and home products and swag of all designs.
We have teriyaki Spam and we list Spam as a food staple for emergency preparation kits along with rice and bottled water.
Of the 13 Spam varieties sold in Hawaii, the top sellers generally are the Classic, Lite and Less Sodium varieties.
This is primarily because they are sold in multipacks at membership stores such as Costco and Sam’s Club.
On the other hand, most grocery retailers sell cans, especially the flavored ones, individually. But the company doesn’t reveal the rankings of flavored Spam products.
Got to keep that trade secret stuff secret, dontcha know.
Get some Spam today. Your family will thank you for it. Father, usually a grump, will be lots more fun.
If you need some Portuguese Sausage-flavored Spam, let me know and I’ll send you a can or two, or four hundred.