It’s official. Hormel Foods will release a new version of Spam exclusively in Hawaii.
It’s here! The taste treat we’ve all been waiting for. Combining 2, yes 2, highly processed porcine leftovers in one juicylicious can.
Yes, we’re talking a Portuguese Sausage-flavored Spam that unites two of the islands’ favorite meat products in one can with an expiration date measured in centuries.
Only in Hawaii. Well, that makes sense since Hawaii consumes more Spam per capita than any other state.
How much? Well, roughly 5 million pounds a year which is the equivalent of 6 cans for every man, woman and child in Hawaii.
Oh sure, there is that dark secret that both Guam (16 cans per person per year!) and American Samoa have us beat in per capita consumption.
But neither is a U.S. state so we ignore those statistics, scream “neener, neener, neener” and declare proudly, “We’re #1!, we’re #1.”
Spam is available at McDonalds, Burger King and Jack in the Box and at just about every restaurant from greasy chopstick dive to fine dining establishment. It gets the gourmet treatment by foodies: truffled Spam, Sriracha-sauced, with jalapeno quesadillas and even sandwiched in a glazed donut.
The annual Waikiki Spam Jam is a big deal. Thousands turn out. The locals go “yum” and chow down on delicacies like fried rice with Spam. Most visitors consume anti-emetic products, shake their heads and cry, “How could you?”
We have street fairs dedicated to Spam; in fact the annual Waikiki Spam Jam occurs on May 2nd.
We sell Spam tee shirts, accessories and home products and swag of all designs.
We have teriyaki Spam and we list Spam as a food staple for emergency preparation kits along with rice and bottled water.
Of the 13 Spam varieties sold in Hawaii, the top sellers generally are the Classic, Lite and Less Sodium varieties.
There is so much one can do with Spam. Presentation is key. Who wouldn’t love to wake up to some fried eggs and Spam-Man? Love the thong.
This is primarily because they are sold in multipacks at membership stores such as Costco and Sam’s Club.
On the other hand, most grocery retailers sell cans, especially the flavored ones, individually. But the company doesn’t reveal the rankings of flavored Spam products.
Got to keep that trade secret stuff secret, dontcha know.
Get some Spam today. Your family will thank you for it. Father, usually a grump, will be lots more fun.
If you need some Portuguese Sausage-flavored Spam, let me know and I’ll send you a can or two, or four hundred.
Categories: Max's Stories
WITHIN THE K STREETS 
Well, I never. Really. I’ve never eaten Spam, Maxwell.
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Well, Mark, there’s a whole new life experience just sitting on a store shelf near you. It’s killed more men than bullets but the chances of a one and done are slim so give it a shot. Once past the slime and suspicious gelatinous filler, it’s all good.
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Why start after dodging the bullet for 57 years, Maxwell? My wife and I even did eight days in Hawaii and I did not indulge in the blue-canned delicacy.
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Eh, what’s the worst can happen? 🙂
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I taste Spam.
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I am soooo excited for this years Spam Jam and the new flavor. Pretty sure I’m going to do a spam musubi tutorial this week to celebrate! Great post!
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No question, the Spam Jam is a hoot. It attracts a delightfully insane sort of crowd and is something that can only exist in Hawaii or maybe Austin, Minnesota the home of Hormel. The recipes range from delicious and creative to what-the heck-were-they-thinking-of. Good music and fun people. I’ll be down there but Max may take a pass – he’s not that good in big crowds when all he sees are ankles and feet.
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It’s always a blast..as long as you don’t have to find parking, lol. Maybe I’ll see you down there!
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Wine pairings with spam are easy. The classic goes with MD 20/20. The Portuguese Sausage goes with Mateus. The chicken spam goes with Thunderbird. You’ll have the wine experts unemployed.
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I think you have made excellent choices. I might add some Blue Nun Liebfraumilch with the reduced sodium version and perhaps little Apple Annie Greensprings to the teriyaki.
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We used to throw some Spam in the pack every once in a while when I was in Scouts, but in college I had a roommate from Guam, and I swear, every bit of meat he ate came out of a can or some sort of jar full of vinegar.
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I lived in Guam for 4 years and can attest to the love of SPAM on the island. Thanks in large part to World War 2 many of the Pacific Islands have an inordinate fondness for all that pork goodness. It was a pleasant alternative to fruit bat.
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Well, I don’t like admitting that I am a very ignorant dog, but in my world SPAM only pops up on my e-mail and facebook and so on. So I had to consult the Doggypedia and realised that spam means FUN. It’s food, right? And food is FUN. Enjoy the jam (and the spam).
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No dog has ever complained about SPAM. To a dog, the slime is sublime, the taste is in the paste and there’s even enough stink in the pink pork to satisfy any canine’s meat tooth.
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Hehe and you are a poet and don’t know it!
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IMO, Spam of the, oh how should I put it of the so-called ‘edible’ variety ranks right up there with Poi on my culinary cuisine chart and it’s NOT because I’m a vegetarian. Growing up we ate it though not with rapt appreciation, it was the old “eat it or wear it rule.” When I was on the Big Island last year, I was astounded at the lengths people go in turning a sow’s ear into a silk purse. Different strokes for different folks, right? 🙂
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I still smile thinking of SPAM roast which was a college staple. Cross-hatch the top of the SPAM cube, stud with cloves, cover with pineapple slices and bake until browned. Served with a nice crisp Boone’s Farm and there’s nothing better. But tell the truth, Monika, I bet even you from twee Colorado love a tasty SPAM musubi from time to time. Block of cold rice, a layer of SPAM and wrapped with seaweed. Come on, admit it, it’s your guilty pleasure.
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Spam has never passed my lips! I looks too gross to even consider…
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Now, now KitKat you are known for being adventurous. I bet you could work SPAM into your erotic fiction blog. The possibilities are endless if perhaps a little yucky. “I saw him from a distance. My pulse started pounding. He had a can of SPAM in his muscular arms. I could tell he knew how to pop the top of that metal container.” I can see it now. Sex and SPAM, what could be better? OK, just the sex. 🙂
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Haha! Oh god! Like the fridge scene in 9 and a half weeks!
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no no no no no no
that was the nastiest glazed donut i’ve ever seen
a spam thong–ew
i don’t get it!!!
i can’t even eat at mcdonald’s bc the gristle in the “meat” makes me gag. why not just eat bonafide portuguese sausage and leave the spam out altogether?
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Spam spam spam spaspam spam wonderful spam. Would you like Spam with Spam?
Can’t understand why hawaiins eat so much Spam when you have such a diverse andf interesting culture xx Ro
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