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Preview of Coming Piñatas

The Alpha Japanese Female (AJF) and I took Max to our local Petco shop to pick up some poochlet necessities.

Max getting prepped for his photo shoot.

Max getting prepped for his photo shoot.

While we were in line at checkout we were approached by the store manager and another lady who was toting a large camera.

"Let me get this straight...you want me to do what? Put on what? What exactly is wrong with you, Dad?"

“Let me get this straight…you want me to do what? Put on what? What exactly is wrong with you, Dad?”

They wanted to know if we would allow Max to be photographed for a story about dog Halloween costumes to be featured in our local paper – The Honolulu Star Advertiser. Max seemed amenable. The AJF began to transform into a stage mother and I thought the whole rigmarole to be funny.

Max and I were both intimidated by the store manager in the pink shirt. She was a tough cookie.

Max and I were both intimidated by the store manager in the pink shirt. She was a tough cookie.

Max was carted off to the pet grooming area to be “prepped” for his photo shoot. A young lady appeared with a pin brush and started glamming up the Furbeast. Meanwhile earnest consultations transpired over which costume should be worn by the Malt.

Test shots to determine if he had the right stuff and alliteration to be a mucho macho male Malt model.

Test shots to determine if he had the right stuff and sufficient alliteration to be a mucho macho male Malt model.

An alligator? No…doesn’t match his personality. Star Wars? Nope, he’s already as furry as Chewbacca eating an Ewok. Finally, for reasons that remain obscure to me, they decided that a piñata would be Max’s ideal get-up.

"Does this face look like I'm enjoying this process?"

“Does this face look like I’m enjoying this process?”

By then, the brush out was complete, copious food bribes had been offered and ingested and we were ready for his close up, Mr. DeMille. But first Max had to be dressed in his costume and, as you can see, he failed to see the good humor in the process. Miffed Maltese.

Hang down your head and cry.

Hang down your head and cry.

Eventually our little piñata was fully prepared and the photo session went off without a hitch. The AJF was so proud although I heard her mumble about union scale, residuals and percentages off the top whatever that was about.

"Get this off me now."

“Get this off me now.”

He will make his newspaper appearance within the next couple of weeks. I promise to post the actual newspaper photo of Max when it is released.

Oh the humanity. The shame. If this gets out, his reputation among the Maltese community is doomed.

Oh the humanity. The shame. If this gets out, his reputation among the Maltese community is doomed.

Meanwhile, Max and I decided on his “official” costume for Halloween. You may remember that last year he dressed as a Viking warrior. Well, this year will be quite different but I’m not giving away the secret yet… For now, Max will remain a piñata.

A piñata who hates me.

Categories: Max's Stories

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52 replies ›

  2. Poor Max. That costume really should be considered dog abuse. Tell him that if he wants to escape all the Halloween Hoopla, to board a plane to Australia. Halloween is fairly low-key here, although it has been gaining popularity over the last couple of years. Lady and Bi8lbo both said that you wouldn’t catch them in anything like that. They’re naturalists! Take care and congtrats on the spot in the paper from a publicity loving papparazzi xx Rowena

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  3. Oh god! Thank you for making me giggle over my breakfast! He looks adorable and totally pissed at you! I’m so glad he is getting the fame he so rightly deserves… This could be the start of something big! 😂
    Give that little cutie a massive squeeze cuddle from me and my two terrors who are currently lying up on my bed having kicked me out.
    K x

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  5. Buddy the Maltese Dog says:
    Hi Max, I understand the feeling of having anything on your person. Your more than welcome to come and stay at my house for Halloween. We don’t get dressed up, my mom and I walk around early in the day and delivery hand made doggy and kitty treat bags to my favorite pet friends, and we also, deliver treat bags to a few of the elderly people on my street. It is always nice to hear from you Max.
    Buddy & Audrey Tavel

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    • The pinata was ridiculous but I’m not sure the options were much better, Kismet. The giant dog taco costume had possibilities but really was better tailored (cough) to the chihuahua contingent. I think I’ve figured out a good one for him though if only I can get the right supplies.

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    • They took my name at the photo shoot but now I think I will seek anonymity to avoid retribution should Max gather the other small condo dogs in a mass attack. Lately, the poodles have been looking askance at me. Viva Senor Max!.

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  10. Poor little chap….he’ll have to slink out of your condo at unearthly hours to avoid the pitying looks of his canine neighbours once that newspaper comes out….

    Still – and do not divulge this to Max as I do not wish to share in the retribution he is preparing – at least you’ve found a new variation on an old joke.

    How do you make a Maltese cross?
    You dress him up as a pinata.

    Beats the old line about staping on his foot by a long way.

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  11. Gosh, he didn’t even muster a fake smile. You see the burden in both senses of the word. I bet that manager could carry that costume; she looks strong like bull. I won’t make some joke about filling him up with candy until he spews it out like a kid’s bday party pinata. It’s never the good candy anyway. Is he a blue donkey, like Eeyore? If so, he is mimicking Eeyore’s clinical depression perfectly.

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  13. One can only hope that the newspaper reaches it’s final position – on the bottom of kitty litter tray- real soon. Let’s hope his dogmates don’t read this blog.

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    • He’s been keeping his distance from other fluffbutts, especially his main squeeze Sophie the Lhasa Apso. Maybe it’s just that Sophie has a stinky ear infection but maybe because he fears being outed as a pinata.

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    • I wonder what passes through their little dog brains when we do stuff like this. The looks on their faces suggests they know the meaning of humiliation and shame but they love us so much they put up with our nonsense. “Strange creatures, these humans” is probably close to how they feel. That’s better than “Evil ones, the spawn of Satan” which is the look on their furry faces.

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All comments are welcome, so speak! Speak! Good dog.

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