Unfortunate Names

Max’s adventures in California have exposed the poor pup to some businesses and products whose names are, well, unusual.

Coldcok

I suppose Coldcock Whiskey should be acknowledged for its truth in advertising. For those not familiar with the idiom, to “coldcock” someone means to sneak up and knock them out with a single punch. Perhaps these recipes would do the trick:

CC recipes

One shouldn’t partake on an empty stomach so perhaps some tasty cakes, pies or tarts would be nice.

Crusty T

Yes, indeed, this the Crusty Tart bakery. Famous for its wedding cakes. Seriously. No bridal lunch is complete without a cake from the Crusty Tart. Who made your cake, sweetie? The Crusty Tart.

Not to be confused with the Scabby Hooker Boulangerie.

Crusty tarts can lead to getting cold cocked, ya know.

Antique me

The AJF told me to stand by the sign. I didn’t realize until later that I was being featured as merchandise.

Dog and socks
“You call this a post? I’ve seen better stuff on Reddit.”

20 thoughts on “Unfortunate Names

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  1. Oh boy…the Crusty Tart! Conjours up the Soho of old before the Metropolitan Police vice squad was `reformed`- the aim of said reform being to have more crooks outside the force than inside.
    The promise of the Crusty Tarts`delights would have been enough to coldcock any likely punter who had not imbibed sufficiently to have his eyes both crossed and glazed.

    That cock n`cider is a bit tame….Dublin Dynamite is half and half Irish whiskey and strong cider – a great favourite of the LSE Sailing Club in my time and probably invaluable for anyone seeking the services of the Crusty Tarts…

    There must be odd placenames too…I used to pass a place where a noticeboard outside the village hall proclaimed it to be the home of the Loose Womens Institute: it was not all that far from another village called Pratts Bottom.

    Still, nothing beats the Itchy Butt. Nothing could…

    Max`s expression resembles that of a teacher who has been told that the dog ate your homework…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I actually thought of you when I first saw The Crusty Tart. Wait a minute, that didn’t come out right. What I mean is that “Crusty Tart” sounds like a name for a British pub and since you hail from those parts, I thought you’d have an affinity….wait, that’s not working either. Let me start over…

      A Dublin Dynamite sounds tasty, especially if it were imbibed on a chilly day. Not sure if it’s advisable to be pouring the DD’s down the sailors’ gullets though. But I guess that’s how the British Empire either rose to its previous greatness or fell to…oh no…I’ve gone and insulted you again. I think I will just quit and limit my losses.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The absence both of Irish whiskey and anything resembling cider (despite what it says on the label) probably explains why Costa Rica never rose to imperial heights…
        you can`t command subject peoples on guaro.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. We can always count on a snicker from one of your posts, can’t we? Those signs were a hoot. Gotta love a proprietor with a sense of humor, right…but American herbal flavored whiskey? Wonder if it’s as good as maybe our northern friends’ version? Don’t work too hard with the garage drywalling, sanding and painting. I think Pantone’s color of the year is “Greenery, #15-0343 (not my favorite color but no doubt likely to keep wheels happy and relaxed while waiting for outings). 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great…give me a reference that I have to google on my own. OK, fine, I did look up Greenery, #15-0343 on Google Image and it is a terrible color. Vile green. No, bug green is what I will call it. I’ll take a little herbal whiskey just to numb my eyeballs. Now, back to sanding the drywall mud.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Tom, I’ll be looking out for you on American Pickers. The question is whether the AJF would part with you or not. Tell Max, he’d better be nice to the AJF or she might be selling him off too…”The Crusted Pooch”.
    ‘ve always thought Max and Lady were a match made in cyber-heaven. Like Lady, he also seems to be getting too big for his paws. Who does he think he is knocking your post like that? Shame on you, Max.
    Meanwhile, now that Bilbo’s out of the way, Lady’s one step closer to world domination.
    xx Rowena

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