THE HIGH COUNTRY MALTESE
Our short stay in Durango was fun but we were looking forward to visiting the high country. We made an early start thus validating all those stereotypes you hear about old people on holiday. But we actually used the turn signals on our car.
Starting at just over 6,700 feet elevation, our first stop was at the historic mining and brothel town of Silverton at a more rarefied 9,318 ft (2,836 m) . Mining and, uh, brotheling were inextricably linked in the Old West and both were enormously profitable in Silverton in the 1800s.
Descending into Silverton from Durango along HIghway 550.
Today, Silverton is another high mountain tourist town chock-a-block with restaurants, bars, off-road vehicle rentals and gift shops. But there is a lot of history still to be found there in the many restored buildings, at the City’s museum and in the nearby hills.
In these parts, a Jeep is considered de rigueur.
From Silverton, Highway 550 rises abruptly and magnificently, topping out after 8% grades at 11,018 ft (3,358 m) at Red Mountain Pass before descending into the self-proclaimed “Switzerland of America,” Ouray Colorado, population 1,100 full-time residents and a half-bazillion summer visitors.
A typical section of Highway 550 as one approaches Ouray.
The ride on Highway 550 is always fun. It is nicknamed the “Million Dollar Highway” and is listed among America’s most dangerous roads although to me that seems a great overstatement.
About that name… Ouray. No, it has nothing at all to do with the service calls of the various branches of America’s military forces. But since we are on that topic, more or less, let’s review those service calls.
Now, let me hear you shout them out, maggot. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!
Show me your war face.
Army: “Hooah.”
Marines: “Oorah.”
Navy SEALS: “Hooyah.”
Air Force: “Huah.”
That was fun. Anyway, Ouray is actually named after a famous Ute Indian chief and his name means “arrow”. He was quite the remarkable man and you can delve a bit into his story here.
Ouray was our first stop on our tour of the San Juan Skyway, a 236 mile route through some of the most beautiful scenery imaginable. This is what we came to Colorado to enjoy!
Although tiny, Ouray likes to speak of itself in superlatives. The village is set at the narrow head of a valley at 7,792 feet (2,375 m) and surrounded on three sides with 13,000 foot (3,963 m) snow capped peaks.
Glorious in all 4 seasons.
Aside from its self-promotion as a domestic Switzerland (i.e., without the grumpy banksters snuffling in their raclette), Ouray is acknowledged as the winter ice-climbing capital of the U.S. and home of the world’s first ice climbing park.
It once claimed the second largest gold mine in Colorado and still attracts many to amateur prospecting in the steep terrain around its five hot springs.
Mining is no longer a big part of Ouray’s economy which is now nearly 100% dependent on tourism. Summer activities in Ouray center on mountain biking, hiking, exploring the nearby waterfalls and off-roading in four-wheel drive vehicles into the San Juan Mountains.
Ouray Main Street. Note brewery on right. I like this town
We stopped in Ouray for lunch but spent little time there because the weather turned foul shortly after our arrival. We dined on an outdoor patio to accommodate His Royal Furriness and ended up huddled under the market umbrella trying to hold down our Cobb salads and the dog stroller as the wind, and dog, began to howl.
It was getting late, so we moved nine miles up the road to Ridgway, a town best known as the site for the old John Wayne movie “True Grit”. Actually, a number of western movies have been made there; the scenery is perfect for that kind of flick. In other celebrity news: Ralph Lauren owns a 17,000 acre ranch – “The Double RL” – in a jaw-dropping beautiful area just outside the tiny downtown.
Playing in the park at Ridgway. There were many art pieces and statues but Max particularly liked this one.
The following day our goal was Telluride, population 2,325. Telluride is a former silver mining camp founded in 1878. Strangely, the town was named for a type of mineral that was never mined there. Telluride sits in a box canyon surrounded by steep forested mountains and cliffs with Bridal Veil Falls at the head of the canyon.
The 3 Musketeers en route to Telluride.
Telluride is the archetype of Colorado’s schizophrenic high mountain tourist towns. On the one hand it is synonymous in pop culture with the lifestyles of the rich and famous and, indeed, there is wealth that Midas would envy. Real estate ads by the dozens tout homes tagged at $4 – $20 million dollars and more. Movie stars fly into Telluride airport on their private jets and dinner can cost you an arm, leg or gonad.
On the other hand, the town has plenty of hard-core mountain adventurers and superb athletes who care only about the climb, the schuss, the ice canyons and little about cash. These folk happily co-exist with everyday working class, tourists galore and a fair number of characters who ought to be named Smelly McFuzzynuts for reasons left to your imagination. But I digress.
Stir all these together and you get Telluride where the people-watching is exquisite fun and your wallet takes a beating – we paid $17 for two hot dogs with chips and a Coke.
Not kidding about the $17 tube steaks. Here’s photographic proof of our elegant repast in Telluride. Bought from a street cart, no less!
One thing for certain: Telluride is staggeringly beautiful in any season and paradise for those who like outdoor mountain activities.
Anecdote: Years back, the AJF darn near divorced me after I took her in my truck up one of the more difficult off-road trails. It was her first experience with negotiating gravel mining tracks and switchbacks only 15 inches or so wider than the truck’s wheelbase with sheer drop offs on one side. Once on the path there is no turning back so she had to endure a couple hours of what she deemed to be sequential near-death experiences.
The “road” that almost got me booted. Not my photo, but the same road and my truck was a larger vehicle.
Arriving safely back at town, she told me if I ever tried anything like that again (with her in the truck) she would walk out and never be seen again. She meant it.
Anyway, after spending time rolling Max around Telluride, we went sightseeing across Lizard Head Pass and around Trout Lake and ultimately ended up back at our lodge.
Trout Lake near Lizard Head Pass. Nice now, but winters are brutal.
Our time was running out and we knew we had to leave Colorado and head home. Because of other commitments, our return journey was all about covering distance and nothing about sightseeing.
On one day we drove to Cedar City Utah and the next, all the way home. We chalked up the ferocious return trip and resultant monkey butt as the price we had to pay to enjoy the rest of the trip. It was worth it.
That was fun! Let’s go on another road trip!
And that, fellow travelers, is the story of Max’s visit to the Southwest.
Categories: The Dog From Rancho Cucaracha
WITHIN THE K STREETS 
Wow.This was some trip you did. Yes, divorce would sound correct just looking at the road–I cannot even begin to imagine driving down it. Max partook of the $17 feast? Poor pooch looks darn near famished.
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I think Max ate about $5.75 worth of frankfurter.
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OK, so you used turn signals.Was your head higher than the steering wheel?
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It was Colorado…my head was indeed, uh, higher than the wheel.
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You’re lucky it’s summertime. Red Mountain & Lizard Head passes are absolutely no fun in the winter unless of course you’re an adrenaline junkie. Come back again and I’ll get you a tube steak and a beer from any of the 5280 craft breweries on the Front Range. 🍺
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I’ve never crossed those passes in the snow but I can see as it could be tricky. I pulled a trailer across them on a blustery day and then raised the blood pressure a smidge. The only trails that really gave me serious pause are a route called Black Bear which is a ferocious switchback in the back of the valley at Telluride. Fortunately I had spotters in the group to help signal just how close to the edge the tires were. The other is Upper Yankee Basin and that was a nightmare. Days of my youth….
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Yup, both are notable for giving anyone high blood pressure or mini-strokes. And switchbacks…that’s a whole ‘nutter category in terrifying!
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Do American towns have signs advertising their attractions as you approach? Not advertisements, but ones put up by the council.
Most French towns – and villages – have them.
You are approaching Les Deux Biscouilles…visit the fortifications (part of a medieval wall which was not demolished when the council workers went on strike)….the 13th century chapel (totally hidden within a 19th century restoration of the church which is always locked)…
A village in our vicinity had a very discreet shop selling sex toys.
Some wag , copying the style of the council noticeboards, put up one saying…visit the sex toy centre of the department…
In days, the village square was overflowing with parked cars and the bar was doing a roaring trade with those (dscreetly) seeking directions.
So, I am imagining the signs as you approach Silverton….
Discovering that the dashing Max had a Mormon background explains his disdain of beer…
That photograph of the three musketeers was just great!
Have another road trip soon!
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Sometimes there are signs indicating points of interest, generally of a historical nature, put up be government entities. More often private enterprise puts ups signs, billboards and posters miles and miles in advance of such not-to-be-missed things as the World’s Largest Twine Ball, the Amazing Sea Lion Caves, House of Mystery, Elvis’ Favorite Hardware Store and the like. There are entire websites dedicated to such roadside attractions and in a weird way they are indeed part of the fun of cross country travel. One of the big ads we saw on this trip was for “Alien Beef Jerky” which apparently is a brand name and not an ingredient.
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I thought that Alien Beef Jerky was a good description of security staff at American airports…as nothing will ever persuade me to enter the portals of an American airport again I shall never see the Worlds Largest Ball of Twine…
Seriously though, I would love to visit the U.S….to explore…but I will not repeat an experience which lacks only a sign saying Àrbeit macht frei`.
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Well, you could always drive up. The border crossings are always a pleasant experience or so I’m told. Snorf.
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Yes….I can imagine.
Crossing out of Honduras on a Sunday.
You need a photocopy of this document and it will cost you twenty dollars.
Why?
Because my friend in the shack over there is short of money and he has the photocopier.
We settled on five after an hour of haggling.
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By the way, the World’s largest twine ball is in Cawker City, Kansas.
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Anf who christened that unfortunater town with that name….
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Per wiki: “Cawker City was founded in 1870. It was named for one of its founders, E. H. Cawker.”
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Not noted for his dexterity, then….old English usage for someone cack handed.
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Outside Aberdeen one wag installed an ‘official’ notice advising tourists of the ‘Haggis Farm’ at the next exit. Those foolish enugh to follow the sign found themselves in the foothills of the Cairgorm mountains on a dirt track. I wonder how many fell for it?
The dog must have enjoyed the trip, he looked so excited in each picture, except the one where he wears exensive booties….
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“Haggis Farm”…I love it. I think I once saw a slasher flick where the evil people placed fake road side signs to attract tourists and then ate them. With haggis it would be a toss up which meal was better.
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Heresy! Haggis is unbeatable!
You are thinking of Sawney Bean..
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I knew that comment would offend someone. I suppose it is an acquired taste although who or what one would it acquire it from is open to debate. 🙂
PS: I am afraid to Google “Swaney Bean” this late in the evening.
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Olives are said to be an acquired taste…but no one denigrates olives….
I make my own haggis when we slaughter a sheep and am gradually forcing Costa Rican friends to acquire the taste….
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Well that explains it. Fresh sheep parts. Here in Rancho Cucamonga we used to slaughter sheep as part of our regular sacrifices to Ba’al but we had to stop that because the neighbors complained about the music and dancing.
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I’m desperate for a Costa Rican Haggis now!!!!!
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I always wondered why Ba`al worship came to an end…ruddy neighbours!
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Tynecastle…do you think I could get it past customs or would they treat it as hazardous material?
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Wonderful description bar non …. So we’ll told can envision all the sights even with out pics…AWESOME
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