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Max’s Very Bad Christmas Costume

Max was not looking forward to having his Christmas photo taken. I don’t think he liked the costume that we chose for him.

What’s not to like? The costume had it all: reindeer horns, Santa suit, miniature Santa doll pasted on the butt and…booties!

Manufactured by Chinese workers who really care, the product came with instructions.

Socks tag

“The dog will probably not used.” Perhaps this works better in the native language.

No, seriously, who could object to comfy, warm booties with…and I’m not kidding…non-slip soles!

Socks non-slip

Just like the kind you get in better hospitals.

The first challenge was catching Max. Even the promise of tasty Milk Bones was not enough to convince him to stand still. The wily Malt has been through this exercise before.

With the Alpha Japanese Female blocking the hallway, I was able to capture the angry and elusive little animal and brute force him into his happy holiday outfit. It didn’t start well.

Not the best shot

We might have pulled the hood a little too forward.

Several tries were made at adjusting the reindeer horns but they simply refused to stand up like in the photo we saw on Amazon. When the horns were upright, the rest of the hat was off kilter.

Hat on face

“You know I can’t see a thing, right?”

We weren’t ready to give up and surrender. A little tugging here, a little smoothing there and a little adjusting overall and…we failed again.

What are you doing

“What are you doing to me?”

It was obvious that Max was simply going to resist this costume to his dying breath. We managed to put on two of his booties. With that, we all declared victory.

With booties

“Happy now? Can we take it off?”

We may have traumatized the fur monster. He now walks around with a stunned look on his little humbug face.

Stun dog 2

“I trusted you and you did this to me.”

He’ll survive. Later, I’ll tell him how lucky he is to have a warm outfit with non-slip booties when so many dogs have only their pride and dignity.

Max look up

Look, Max, it’s the Christmas star!

To all of you who have suffered through followed the antics of this gentle little white dog over the past year, we three wish for you a very happy Christmas, a joyous Chanukah or whatever holiday you celebrate.

We wish you peace, humor and more luck than you’ll need. For those who are ill we wish recovery and respite from pain. Milk bones to our canine friends.

Later on tonight,  I will raise a glass to you and together with Max and the AJF, I will wish you Merry Christmas.

Then we’ll take off Max’s very stupid Christmas costume.

Ab imo pectore.

Tom, the AJF and Max

 

Categories: The Dog From Rancho Cucaracha

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49 replies ›

    • This is the first costume that he actually despises. The others he has tolerated but not this one. It is stupid…not a reindeer, not a Santa, random booties. I may owe the dog an apology.

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  2. Omigosh Tom, this is worse than I expected! Thank God Max isn’t part pitbull. You’d be yesterday’s news.I hope Santa brings Max an extra special gift, endless belly rubs and a huge supply of his favorite treats. He deserves a medal.

    Those booties are to die for! Of course, Max probably figures you should be confined to a padded cell!

    All’s well that ends well, right? Max doesn’t look any worse for the wear. It’s a Christmas miracle!

    Wishing you and Max and the AJF a very Merry Christmas. Perhaps Santa will ignore most of the items on your Naughty List and bring you a very special gift.

    Hope 2020 brings you good health, the love of family and friends, and a reason to laugh every day. And a winning Lottery ticket!

    Looking forward to another year of hilarious posts. So glad I found you through Lois. It’s been a hoot Tom.
    Ginger

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    • Max is currently having a massive sulk. He is totally torqued off about the costume. He’ll live but if you saw his expression you’d think he was dying. Playing pitiful. We hope you have a wonderful Christmas too, Ginger. We are so happy you abandoned your fine reputation to join this silly dog blog. 😛❤

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  4. Oh dear, Max. Not to worry. Santa is watching. Heh, heh, heh. Oh, yeah–he is most definitely watching. From me and the kitties, who know I would never try anything like this with them, a very Merry Christmas to you.

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  7. I’d keep an eye on your chest for the Ides of March if I were you….he could do some damage with a milk bone or two.
    Just think back to the Malt’s ancestors…sitting – totally uncostumed – alongside Renaissance princes and Venetian courtesans, all costumed to the hilt. No wonder every genetic instinct in his body is agin it. It is against nature.
    And that costume validates Trump’s sanctions on China!
    I think that in penance you should be forced to raise a glass of creme de menthe and Guinness….but not a large one. It is, after all, the season of goodwill.

    A merry Christmas to you all, with thanks for all the entertainment your blog has given me.

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    • I looked at the Furbeast and tried to imagine that he shared DNA with wolves. Now he lives up to the name given to Maltese by those courtiers of whom you speak: the “Comfort Dog.” Sic transit gloria for the breed. I’ll likely take a hard pass on your proposed libation but no doubt will have a wee taste of cognac tonight. I’ll be lifting it in a toast to you, Leo and the doggers. Wishing all good things for you and thanks for a lot free education garnered through your blog. But I’ll never understand your fondness for cricket.

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      • Clearly to understand cricket you need more creme de menthe and Guinness…or Dublin Dynamite…though my preferred tipple in the good old days was gin and campari. Sic transit gloria for the booze…these days I’m glad to find a sparkling Saumur……in which we will be toasting you and yours.

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  9. Oh, Max, don’t fret! You look so handsome and festive! You are the bestest reindeer ever! Santa would be lucky to have you heading up his team! 🙂
    Now you MUST think of a good (buwahaha! evil laugh!) way to get even…er…uh…get payback…er…ah…reward…that’s it…reward your Human-Beans!!! 😉 😛 If you need help, let me know! I got your back! 😉 😀
    BTW: I had to wear my HoHoHO bandana all day on Tuesday and I’m sure Mom will make me wear it today, too.
    May Santa Paws be great to you…have a paw-some Christmas, Max! 🙂
    Paw-Shakes,
    Cooper
    🐶 🐾🐾 🍗 🎄
    PS…thank you for all the fun and joy your brought us this past year! 🙂

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    • Merry Christmas Mr. Cooper and special hugs to you, Carolyn, too from all of us. You got off light, pup, with only a bandana. Your self respect is no doubt intact. Anyway, Max is out of his dumb reindeer thingie and back in his pajamas so snug and warm and enjoying his Christmas Day. ❤

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  13. Poor dog!
    The ‘Free Dogs from People Society’ would like a word….
    The dog appears to have one or two appropriate words for you already.
    I am convinced however the Christmas leftovers will have prevented him from actually eating you.
    May your Christmas be good….

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    • Happy Christmas back to you! The FDFPS is a militant dog group so I hope Max doesn’t get involved with them. Right now all that rage packaged into a 15 pound body is both fearsome and hilarious. He wants to wreak vengeance but lacks the height, weight and overall strength to do much beyond bark imprecations. Were he to get weapons from the ‘Free Dogs from People Society,’ the balance of power might tip in his favor and I would be a goner.

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  23. A belated Merry Christmas to you Max. Are you talking to Tom or the AJF yet? Or, are you parked somewhere in quarantine trying to get into Australia? We’d love to see you. I suppose lady must’ve told you that our dogs don’t wear costumes, but she’s probably neglected to tell you that we can afford your kingly vet bills. So, you’ll just have to get used to the over-the-counter stuff while you’re here. Does bi-carb help? We have a big box of the stuff and it’s good for bee stings.
    Lady got into a bit of trouble recently. The night before the kids went back to school, she bailed up a blue-tongue lizard which lives in our garage but seemed to venture into the backyard for a stroll. It’s also inclined to sun itself on the back lane way. So, Geoff has had a bit of experience trying to round it p out of harm’s way. Anyway, Lady was barking endless at something so I sent Jonathon out to check on her and as Jonathon approached, she lunged at the lizard and bit it on the tail. This of course triggered an emergency response. Calls for towels, a box and a drive to the vet. It wasn’t looking good at all and we left our number but have heard nothing. While we feel some attachment to the lizard, we didn’t want to appear that attached that we would attract the vet bill. I’m sure you can relate to that.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

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