Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to find a plague doctor mask for Max.
I thought this might be a clever canine social commentary but it seems most people find off-putting the notion of a Maltese walking around with top hat, cloak and pointy-face costume.
My fruitless search for a dog costume did take me to some bizarre web sites including one that inspired me with a new perspective on how to handle squirrels, Max’s archnemeses. And, yes, that’s the correct plural form.
Behold, the squallet!
Meanwhile, I could see that the little white dog had something up his figurative sleeve. I asked him what he was up to.
“I don’t know, DogDad. I’m feeling a little down, a little melancholic. I was just thinking that if the Covid-19 gets me, at least I had a great life.”
“Whoah there, Maxwell,” I interrupted, “Nothing’s going to ‘get you’.”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “I’ve had a great run. It’s been a full life with you and the DogMom. I’ve had so many great experiences. I’ve seen the pyramids along the Nile; watched the sunrise from a tropic isle.”
“Hold on, Puplet. That scam’s not going to work on me. I know you’re quoting song lyrics. Jo Stafford if I remember correctly. Mid-1950s. Let me guess, you’re putting on a sad act to cadge a few treats that would miraculously perk you up, right?”
“What? No. Well, I guess a couple of treats wouldn’t hurt. I’ve seen the marketplace in Old Algiers, too, you know.”
I went back to sipping my Quarantini.
“Not gonna work, Max, go ahead and try your schtick on the DogMom and see if she gives you some cookies. Good luck with that, pal.”
He moved off to practice his wiles on an even tougher customer. I couldn’t hear everything that was said and at first it sounded like his sales pitch was being rejected by the AJF.
Then I heard Max whisper, “DogMom, I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. …mumble…mumble…mumble… all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.”
I could see his monologue had touched the AJF who is unfamiliar with many US movie memes. She was bamboozled and was reaching for the cookie jar.
“Don’t buy his malarkey, hon” I shouted from my easy chair, “He’s quoting a movie scene from Blade Runner!”
That dog is incorrigible. But he got his cookies.
Categories: The Dog From Rancho Cucaracha