Some might say I have too much time on my hands.

Step 1: Make sure they are clean.
But there’s a lot you can learn from the internet.
Don’t let the shortage of N95 masks get you down.

Step 2: a snug fit is important.
Improvise, adapt, overcome
“Nothing gets between me and my Calvins,” said Brooke Shields.

Step 3: Ready to face the world.
For the fashion conscious, there are color options available.
It’s important that the tighty whiteys be pristine.
Anything else would certainly increase social distancing.

“I can’t believe how stupid this is.”
The AJF was not impressed.
No worries. She’ll come back.

The AJF reacts to my new skillset.
The Malt, who is used to stupid costumes, thought it was hilarious.
We continue on…day by day.

snorf…snorf…snorf
Categories: The Dog From Rancho Cucaracha
OMG,,,I think I just split a hernia laughing so hard. And the AJF may be on to something.
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Since you live in wild Colorado you probably get your all natural hemp undies from Duluth Trading but they will probably work, too. We can’t be too careful out there!
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There actually is a decently sized outlet store in the northern suburbs. Not being of the suburban persuasion, I prefer REI for hemp unmentionables. 🩲👙
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See! I know all about these things. I have had to stand in Macy’s Lingerie Aisle of Shame holding the AJF’s purse many times as the other husbands sigh in concert.
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That scene, I’m told, provides mirthful merriment for college student salesgirls working during semester breaks. You guys help break up their otherwise dull days.
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Just keep in mind: during the quarantine, the day time pajamas are worn from 9 am to 9 pm. The night time pajamas are worn from 9 pm to 9 am. Got it?
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🤣
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Excellent!
“Arghhh…it’s my stupid fault for messing with the bras.” I understand this.(said in my boring voice)
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Glad you are keeping your sense of humor. There is also an internet tutorial to make bra masks if you get really bored.
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The AJF is Japanese. A mask made from her bra would
barely cover my nosebe rather petite and dainty. Uh, I think I’ll keep this post private…entre nous so to speak.Edit: what edit? I didn’t edit anything. No edit here.
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Ouch.
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Shhhhh…..
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I was thinking along the lines of ‘head up your…..’ No, no. Keeping it clean.
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Ya know…nobody has ever said that to me other than several thousands who don’t count. You may laugh…haha…but when the Dogpocalypse hits you’ll thank me and will be twisting up your granny pants, too. 😝
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haha! I’ll be laughing so hard, they will just walk away… 😀
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I guess the upside, apart from brightening all our days, is that you are not likely to go out dressed like that. In that sense, the mask definitely works.😂😷😂
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Oh sure, mock my pedestrian UndieMask® while you lounge in fancy pants French lingerie.Just remember, nothing beats the ‘Rona like a good pair of Calvins.
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What, no stylish, yet highly functional CK mask for Max?!? 🐶😝
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I don’t know how to break the news to you so I’ll just be blunt: Max doesn’t have underwear. 🤓
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He may not have underwear… but I’m sure he must have a stylish bandana that can easily be fashioned into a mask. 😛
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As a matter of fact he has probably a few dozen dog bandannas and maybe I will dig through his wardrobe box and find a suitable one. Thanks for the idea. How’s Jett doing?
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Jett is still hopping around, yet in good spirits at the moment… we are scheduled for surgery next Thursday 😔
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Keeping positive thoughts!
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Thank you! 😊
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Max is so cute 😉
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I notice you ignored my very nice UndieMask®.
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Lol it’s very nice 🙂
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😁
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😀😀
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Just as well you do not take to the streets in your fashion statement…the neighbours would be calling the bold gendarmes to tazer the terrorist who hd suddenly appeared in the ‘hood…
Can’t speak for male Costa Rican underwear but the female offerings range from ropa intima colombiana , sold in shops with non see through windows adorned by a picture of skeletal lass showing a great deal of her skeleton, to blumas senora, into which at least ten skeletal lasses would disappear without trace. Were I to attempt to copy your idea with blumas senora I should probably be arrested for a vulgar – and blasphemous – depiction of the BVM. I wish I had kept my mother’s army gasmask…that would have cleared the supermarket aisles!
I like Max’s expression…
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We need to make “blumas senoras” into a meme. High winds and blumas senoras. Greenhouse for small plants…blumas senoras. America’s Cup sails. Mosquito netting, of course. The possibilities are endless. Blogging can be so educational.
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Emergency ‘modest dress’ for those travelling in Saudi Arabia…nest for orphan ostriches…
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Back up parachute.
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I snort-laughed so loud I think my neighbors heard me! 😀 😛
If I saw people walking around with their underpants on their faces I’d laugh, but I’d also stay far far far (you get the picture) away from them! 😉
Max is like, “Whoa, Dad! You are doggone silly!” 😀
On the tighty-whiteys you could draw faces with a marker…have a smiley face on one, a grrr face on another, etc.! 🙂
RUBS for Handsome Max!!!
PATS on your head, with a “there, there, now” thrown in! 😉 😀
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The AJF won’t let me out of the house while I am wearing my UndieMask® but I think it would be effective against the virus because, as you say, no one in their right mind would get within 10 feet of someone looking like that. See, I’m just trying to do my part to flatten the curve. Remember, they once laughed at the slinky and the hula hoop, too. Even when I strike it rich I’ll remember Coop.
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Sorry, I would probably be calling Homeland Security if I saw you heading down the street in your UndieMask getup. But then, perhaps you are a ninja?
Hmm, do you have any Underoos from way back when? A Spider Man print on one’s unmentionables might make them seem less threatening.
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Now you’re getting a little too personal. 😁 What happens in my underwear drawer stays in my underwear drawer.
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Tom, I am laughing so hard I’m crying. In fact the tears are running down my legs now! 😳 O. M. G., your mind is an endless source of humor, and we never know where the hell you’re taking us. But it’s always a fun ride!
So, are you sharing your Calvin face masks with your butt? Do they require separate laundering? I bet Max ran and hid for fear you would rig your drawers up on his adorable face and then have the bal….. ordasity to photograph him. That’s why Max is laughing….because he’s NOT wearing your Calvins…..on either end of his body. Lol.
Hope you and the AJF continue to stay safe and healthy. Those Quarantinis you’re sucking in like oxygen should help fend off this nasty virus. Hope the closest you come to Covid-19 is through the news….and even that’s too close!
🐾Ginger 🐾
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Your tears are running down YOUR LEGS? How is that happening? Good Lord, what position are you in? Lois, come quick and help Ginger, there’s something very wrong going on here.
Max is not wearing my Calvins…yet. The Malt may still get a face mask, just haven’t figured out the best kind. I had him give the UndieMask® a good dog sniff and he cleared them as fit to wear over my head.
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Good grief! Please Fed Ex me one of those Quarantinis. Perhaps it will help me to spell audacity!!!
🐾Ginger 🐾
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When I saw that spelling I thought you had already been nipping at the Quarantini. Nothing wrong there. In fact, I got this from a friend:
Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home we should focus on inner peace.
-To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives.
-I looked through my house to find things i’d started and hadn’t finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.
-Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss.
– An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!!!
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S. T. O. P. — I. T. !!! Now you’ve gone and done it. My bladder exploded and I’m pretty sure I cracked a couple of ribs laughing.
I know a lot of people who need inner piss, so I will definitely pass this along.
I would like the name, address and phone number of this doctor please! S(he) is probably no worse than my doctor, but definitely a hell of a lot more fun! 😂😂😂
Tom, call me crazy, but we need you occupying the Oval Office! The next four years would be a hoot!
Thanks for the laughter. Most fun I’ve had in ages. I’m on my way to Walmart to buy some Depends. Doubtful if any left. The hoarders probably grabbed them in case they need a stash of waterproof head gear in a rain storm!
🐾Ginger 🐾
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Glad we could provide some grins. There is not a day that goes by that the little dog doesn’t make me laugh. Dogs are a joy and even more so during challenging times. I’m sure The Murph is the same to you. There is so much funny stuff circulating now on the internet; maybe adversity brings out humor: good, bad and the silly stuff you get on this dog blog.
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UndieMask!!! Inner piss!!! OMG! 🤣 Thanks for the needed laugh. Btw, Max looks great. Was he groomed just before the quarantine?
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He did get a grooming earlier this month and I gave him a bath last Saturday so he smells OK and looks pretty clean. We’ve had many rainy days that have kept him inside, too.
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Hilarious! 😀
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Fighting the ‘Rona, one really stupid post at a time.
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Excellent! 😀
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Next you’ll be covering your a$$ with a beret.
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That’s entirely possible. Around here we eschew the traditional and confining sartorial conventions.
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Now I see what you mean! This reminds me of Captain Underpants.
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UndieMasks® the favorite protection of discerning Maltese everywhere! Now available in a choice of designer styles and colors.
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Argyle?
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Argyle? Sounds like when I bust out the Listerine. But we take special orders, so OK.
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I see what you did there.
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Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, just when I thought you couldn’t get worse. SNORTYDOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Oh, it can get worse. The longer Max and I are locked in here and left to our own devices, the more trouble you can expect. Idle paws are the Devil’s workshop.
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🤣It hurts from laughing so hard! Thank you!
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I’m glad you got a giggle from the ridiculousness. Too much heavy duty stuff going on in the real world. Around here it’s just foolishness and nice people having some fun with each other and we’re glad you’re here too.
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It’s good to be prepared and know one has options 🤣. Hope you and yours are well and good. 🌷. A visit with you and Max (lets be honest, mostly Max 🙃) always gives me a smile and lifts my spirits. Thank you! 😊
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I like to lift my spirits, too, right up to my lips. snorf. If all else fails maybe I can enroll in ninja school and put my new UndieMask® products to good use. Also, let me know if you’d like to become a supplier for my line of Squallets®. I hear there are plenty of raw materials in your area.
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Those Squallets! 😄 Yep, lots of raw materials around here. I can see the trend of the future….
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