Max’s Misanthropic Dog Dad

Max and I were sitting in our easy chair talking about the universe and extraterrestrial life.

“Maxie,” I said, “All the scientists tell us there are billions of galaxies and trillions of stars and a brazillion or two planets like Earth out there. How come none of the aliens has ever visited us?”

“Look around, Dog Dad,” he replied, “We got riots, protests, epidemics, economic collapse, locusts, murder hornets and Kim Jong Un is playing with the big bang-bangs again. Is it any wonder aliens don’t want to make contact with you humans?”

Fair point. That’s also why I’ve been on a social media fast these past few weeks. It started as a social media diet to wean myself from the constant barrage of news, real and fake, and the breathless media jumping on every angle of a story to gin up more outrage.

The diet wasn’t enough. Some of the pollution got through my barriers and once again I found myself talking to the television, a habit that the AJF proclaims is mighty annoying.

So I went on a social media fast; my sole contact being a few comments here and there on some favorite WordPress blogs. You know who you are.

Hairy close up 1

I’m sick of it too, I tell ya whut.

Social, social, social. I’m sick of that word which proves, I guess, that I am indeed anti-social.

Social distancing. Sounds like some type of dance for very shy people. I prefer the more accurate and pithy Irish phrase “physical distancing.”

Social media. What a crock. Social media is the antithesis of being social. Two people, three opinions and within the span of ten comments, Hitler gets mentioned. Oh, and “your Mom.”

Social contract. We used to have one of those or at least pretended to. You don’t see much interest in the common weal these days, eh Bunky?

Social responsibility. All the mega corporations and trans-nationals are stumbling to broadcast ads that proclaim how they have always supported the popular causes, are committed to making things better and will cough up a donation equal to no less than .003% of net profit after tax and bonuses if only you will buy their product which is made in China by children. Uh oh, there I go again.

Social drinking. OK, well at least there’s one thing I can support.

Meanwhile, on the Maltese front, Max finally got a haircut. Miss Jessica opened shop and Max was Johnny-at-the-rat-hole in terms of getting an appointment.

Hairy close up 2

We were not sure he had eyes.

He had forgotten about haircuts. He started quivering when we entered Casa de Perros Muy Peludos and pretended not to recognize Miss Jessica but we all knew that was a bunch of baloney.

Clean close up 1

With his chopped ears his head looks like a mushroom.

An hour or so later he emerged a new pup. We could see his eyes and it turns out he wasn’t really getting fat after all.

On the Mat

Turns out he became more svelte during quarantine.

 

When we got home he threw himself on to the floor with more epic moves than a Bollywood movie. I felt kind of sorry for inflicting the grooming on the pup so I offered to take him and the AJF for a snack at McDonald’s.

Best Boy

Primed for an alien abduction.

As a meaningful demonstration of its social responsibility and how it cares for every.single.one. of its beloved customers, the ice cream machine was out of order.

Burn it all down.

Dogs good. People – not ready for prime time. Call me misanthropic.

53 replies

  1. So good to see you again. You know I missed you. Seriously. Ya know…..all these shops and blogs and things that we should be supporting now…..why were they not mentioned before? They were out there. Waiting to be found. I understand the fasting. I just do one photo a day, when the spirit moves me, and I petered out this week. Maxie looks adorable. Blast the ice cream machine! Where’s the justice?!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Tom, it’s so good to see a post from you. I was worried that you or the AJF had tangled with the dreaded Covid-19, or something happened to Max.

    Avoiding as much interaction with crazy humans is the best idea you’ve had in a long time! And social media should just be banned.

    Max looks super handsome after his grooming session. Miss Jessica knows what she’s doing. Even Max looks quite pleased with the results.

    But the icing on the cake is McDonald’s didn’t have their ice cream machine up and running. WTH?!

    Stay healthy and keep safe. This should be over by the next millennium!!! Or not.

    🐾Ginger 🐾

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Ginger. I’m usually the eternal optimist and Mr. Positive but I have to admit to being a tad grouchy of late. As for the Malt, it’s like having a whole new dog.

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  3. You were missed…with both barrels.
    His lordship did not appreciate being clipped into topiary…and then the ice cream machine was on the blink….
    I would say that things are going to the dogs did I not realise that dogs would run things better.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Max, you look awesome, and no you don’t look like a mushroom. I’m glad you got a little post-grooming treat too.

    Mom says she would like to join you and your family in some social drinking. – Toby

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  5. That sounds excellent. What’s your beverage of choice? I’ve got s few spots around here where you can elevate your bad leg while we imbibe and Max and Toby can destroy the back yard.

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  6. Irish Mist, it’s the cure for all ills. On that note, not only did Maverick also go to the groomer today – he does not look like a mushroom, nor does Max – so did I. I got a haircut for the first time since March and I feel freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am not possessed of a plethora of hair but my cute pixie had turned into something that looked like the pixies got drunk and danced in it.
    I have also taken a break from anti social media. It’s just totally depressing to see people fighting all the bloody time

    Liked by 1 person

    • My pixie isn’t looking good. Maybe if I had more hair instead of just the long scruff around the perimeter. Come to think of it I sorta look like a mushroom head. I’ll bet there was a ton of fur on the floor after Mav got clipped! He probably felt so much lighter and cooler. Irish Mist, eh? Haven’t had that in probably 30 years but maybe it’s time to re-visit that nectar.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. There you are! And here I was, not-so-secretly hoping you were too busy losing the war against the rats to blog. After a slow start my tomatoes are doing quite well. Jacques sees to it that the mice get nowhere near our kitchen garden and the rats stick to Paris. Upshot is, the tomato-off is back on! We never set any criteria for victory, but after a couple of drinks, that won’t matter. Bloody Marys, I think, big ones, like the tomatoes themselves.

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  8. YAY! You all are back! 🙂 I REALLY missed Max..oh, and you! 😉
    HA! Just teasin’! I missed Max, you, and AJF! (I love her take/commentary on you! 😀 )

    Wowza! As for the first photos of Max: Max and Coop had the same hairdo goin’ on! Must be THE fashionable look of the day! 😉 😛
    As for the after-the-“shearing” photos: Aw and Oh! Max looks so handsome! 🙂

    It might be next month before Cooper gets to looking his fine self again. 😉 I know he’ll feel better then. We all feel better after we’ve had our nails done and our hair did! 🙂 (I keep trimming him and bathing him, so at least he isn’t a stinky mop of a fellow. Yet.)

    I agree with everything you said in this post!
    And Coop loved the line “Dogs good.” He had me read it aloud 4 times! 😛
    (((HUGS))) 🙂
    PS…Totally understand the need for a social media fast. I only do WP…no other social media…and I, even, try to avoid the news as much as possible.

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    • Well, rant on, Mama! Let it out and don’t hold back. Hissy up and let it roar. We keep that stuff inside and pretty soon we go crazy and they find us walking aimlessly among the aisles at Target, gumming our Zwieback crackers and cackling like chickens.

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  9. I fail to understand why females object to talking back to TVs, radio’s or other screens. If you do not speak how will they know what you think? How come women fail to grasp this?
    The media, as always, use words differently from real people. ‘Social’ can be used any which way, but it is rarely ‘social.’ I too ignore most news, enough headlines on Twitter to inform me of the incompetent workings of the UK lot. The sooner Scotland is independent the better, then I will move there.
    How come Miss Jessica is working, no barbers open here. I keep getting called ‘ageing Hippy’ which I resent, I am not ageing, I’m only 32….
    Max looks good now he has been done up.
    I suspect he knows this…

    Liked by 1 person

    • As usual, 100% spot on. You would think the AJF would be grateful to receive my wisdom and willingness to mansplain’ any of the more subtle aspects of the political situation. But nooooo, she points at my ball cap and cargo shorts and mumbles something unintelligible about grouchy old men and their annoying proclivities. No respect, I tell you, I get no respect. As of today California barbers, hair and nail salons, tattoo parlors and massage emporiums are all open for business despite the State seeing the highest spike of Covid infections. That all makes sense, right?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Yes, something real and fresh to read! Plus, Max is easy on the eyes and looks so handsome with his mushroom head haircut 🙂 Do you really buy him ice cream from McDonalds, or is that for the humans only? My cat, Atticus, wanted me to ask you that – he’s a fan of vanilla ice cream, he’s been hankering for some since summer went into full effect in TX a few weeks back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup, we take him to Mickey D’s for ice cream. He only gets a tiny amount but he loves it. He thinks that very drive-through we visit whether for an ATM, food, prescription pick-up or whatever is a McDonald’s ice cream and he practically launches out of the window. “Atticus” is a great name for the cat and I’m pretty sure there must be some back story there. Was he named for the Roman Tiberius Claudius Atticus, the Canadian poet, the fictional Atticus Finch (maybe he kills mockingbirds?) or someone else?

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      • Max is a lucky dog! My parents used to take me to Mickey D’s as a treat too! LOL! Atticus would love if I brought him back a treat from there – he would not love the car ride to get it though. And no backstory on his name, he just looked like an Atticus when I got him as a kitten, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind killing a mockingbird or two.

        Liked by 1 person

        • You need to invent a back story. Titus Pomponius Atticus was an ancient Roman who was friends with the legendary Cicero and gained a lot of fame as a very successful real estate investor back in Rome around 50-32BC. Truth. Tell your friends that’s why you named your cat Atticus and then just sit back and watch the total bewilderment appear on their faces.

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  11. Hi Tom – Good to see a post from you!. I was afraid you might have caught the dreaded virus. Max looks adorable all trimmed for summer! Speaking of snoring, Nox lays at my feet and snores so loudly, that I worry what my co-worker who conference call with me think! Sometimes, she makes a guest appearance on the calls, as she wants to be on my lap and enjoys looking at the computer screen.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Julia! It seems like dogs are the new heroes for Zoom and other from home teleconferences. There’s even a website of dogs who have inserted themselves into the proceedings. “Wow, this business would have fallen apart if I hadn’t made my four-legged appearance.” Fortunately we are all well which isn’t much surprise because we have been absolute hermits for the past months. The upside of misanthropy!

      Liked by 1 person

    • I guess that if there is an upside, it is that we stand less of a chance of getting”probed.” Still, I picture the aliens landing, looking around, shaking their little green heads and saying, “Nope, nothing for us here. This place is a dumpster fire of a planet. Nice dogs, though.”

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  12. Welcome to the…cough…wonderful world of the reopening of the COVID world formerly known as stinky, stanky dogs (and a few humans I might note). Max looks ‘fur-bulous!’ I can almost smell his wagnificent canine cologne.

    I’m with you on the whole ‘social’ thing. Seems more churn-like than anything remotely considered social. Here’s to brighter days and more frequent haircuts. Hope you’ve properly treated the pup since his weight was less than expected.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I just read this today because I’ve been on a fast too, including WP. My only comment about your “social” positions is Amen-to-it-all.

    Max is adorable and looks like a rock star! But then, I would have taken him as the fur ball.😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for sharing this. I started a DOG blog too. I believe that we can take many important lessons from dogs, such as unconditional love and loyalty. I am looking forward to meeting more dog/animal lovers. 🙂

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  14. I hear ya loud and clear. I did the same thing. Head in sand. Drives my poor husband bonkers as he’s a bit of a news-wallower. Not I. I’ve stuck with SM, but limited. I’m one of those “p*ss me off once and you’re gone” kind of people. In fact, my latest blog post was about exactly this: coping. Each to his own. Sigh!!!! Max looks adorable. Buddy the Dog … I’d taken to him with scissors and shears myself, but as soon as our doggie spa opened, I was on the phone just like you. And now, HE can see, too!!! 😁. Hang in there. It’ll either get better or it’ll get worse. Not much we can do about it but do something else.

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    • I started a DOG blog too. I believe that we can take many important lessons from dogs, such as unconditional love and loyalty. I am looking forward to meeting more dog/animal lovers. 🙂

      Like

  15. Thank you so much for sharing this. I started a DOG blog too. I believe that we can take many important lessons from dogs, such as unconditional love and loyalty. I am looking forward to meeting more dog/animal lovers. 🙂

    Like

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