We had just returned from an aged citizen cattle call at the Ontario Convention Center where we received our second Pfizer vaccination. The Alpha Japanese Female, who pronounces it the “PeeFizer vaccine,” seemed a bit glum, a bit off her feed.
As at least two of you are aware, I am a very sensitive member of the male species so of course I inquired solicitously about her spirits.
“I’m feeling a little glum and off my feed,” she replied, thereby cementing my position as an intuitive mate. “I’m bored with being locked-in. I don’t even get interesting emails anymore.” That seemed a bit far-fetched so I checked her Gmail account and sure enough, the results were as she described:
She toddled off for a nap while Max and I discussed the situation. “What should I do to cheer her up?” I asked. Max suggested that I stick to the tried and true remedies of chocolate, flowers, wine or a small yet thoughtful husbandly gift, perhaps a set of screwdrivers or some potting soil.
“Nah,” I responded, “I want to do something different.” As inspiration struck, I could see a panicky look blossoming in the Malt’s eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking, DogDad, I beg you don’t do it,” he cautioned.
Too late. The plan was simple, like my mind. While she dozed, I was going to apply Googly Eyes all over our house. Everybody likes Googly Eyes. Nothing puts a grin back on your kisser like a set of Googly Eyes!
The obvious starting points were some of the AJF’s favorite photos.
Moving on, I added the Googly Eyes to typical household products.
Then it occurred to me that I could add Googly Eyes to the screen of her computer to give some famous people a little more personality. The weird thing is that the computer screen changed the diffraction of light through the Eyes and created a sinister effect which may be fitting, you be the judge.
Some politicians didn’t need the addition of Googly Eyes:
Perhaps scariest of all was Demonic Dog created by adding the Googly Eyes to an old photo of Maxwell:
Over the course of an hour and a half, I added Googly Eyes to many more things and images around the house. Cooking utensils. Dials on the stove. A mug or two. A plethora of refrigerator items. Basically, if it didn’t move it got Googly Eyes.
I was very proud of my work and waited impatiently for the AJF to wake up and discover my handiwork. Sure enough, she popped up a little later and declared that she was refreshed and ready to cook dinner.
So far though, she has not once mentioned the hundreds of Googly Eyes that are staring at her from all over the house. Not a smile; not a peep. Not even a slow shake of her head.
It’s like the Googly Eyes are invisible and that’s pretty much how she is treating Max and me, too. If you don’t hear from either of us after a while, send help. I might have gone too far this time.
Categories: The Dog From Rancho Cucaracha