Gunga Dog

Our evening commenced with a delightful dinner prepared by the Alpha Japanese Female. The AJF had conjured Max’s favorite Italian specialty while she treated herself to some fresh sockeye.

Max’s favorite Pasta CarBanana…

After feasting, we realized we still had about a half an hour before the nightly Olympics coverage began. I asked Max what he wanted to do.

He said we could sit and talk about all the medals that the athletes from Scotland brought home from Tokyo. I agreed but wondered out loud what we would do with the other 29 minutes and 38 seconds of our time.

We howled with good humor, nudged elbows and high-pawed each other. Brandy was sipped; soft chews were noshed.

[To be fair, Scotland claims it won 5 medals. Fact check: 4 of the 5 were in a single race, the 4x100m mixed medley event. Nevertheless, credit where credit due.]

“Haha…that was a good one, DogDad. Can’t resist poking the Scots.”

By the time the TV sports presentation ended we were at that stage of the evening where men and dogs wax philosophical as they sit enjoying the many pleathers of the Recliner of Indolence.

I asked my furry partner to be honest and to tell me how he truly feels having weathered a tough few months after his bout with congestive heart failure.

“Let me just say this.” he replied, striving to attain stentorian tones beyond the reach of your average Malt.

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Our Poet Laureate. Flat as a flounder.

I admit I was surprised by his answer. Even more surprised that he was familiar with Tennyson’s “Ulysses”.

“Why the surprise, DogDad?” asked the obviously erudite pup.

I explained I always thought of Max as more of a Rudyard Kipling aficionado.

“How come?”

“Because you Gunga Din Nothin’ Except Sleep All Day.”

I high fived myself for this clearly superior Dad joke while the Furmeister grumbled in his white doggy beard.

“Though I’ve scratched you and spayed you,
By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
You’re a better dog than I am, Gunga Din!”

The Gunga Din reference was close to truth. Water is a big part of Max’s routine. His medicines include a diuretic that gives him a powerful thirst and that means he pees like the fountains at Bellagio except the fountains have the courtesy to stop after midnight whereas Max demands a visit to the backyard every night at 2AM.

All in all, he’s doing pretty well!

Oh yeah, the AJF said that the sockeye was wonderful.

89 replies

  1. Did you two enjoy watching the blancmange at Wimbledon? (When I think of Scotland and sports, that always comes to mind.).

    Thank heavens I wasn’t eating when I read this. I think I may have laughed food out my nose. 😝. Seriously Max, I am thrilled to hear you are doing so well!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I forgot to give you the obligatory +1 for the Monty Python reference. The Blancmange skit is a classic and sadly accurate with respect to the average ability of tennis players in Scotland. It’s their national sport I believe but they do it so badly. You’d think they would substitute soccer or something, wouldn’t you?

      Liked by 1 person

      • And double checking the sheep and the dogs and making sure Danilo and the new guy are good to go. And you’ll notice that no one at all is in to help take care of Leo. So, it’s on her. Plus the blog posts that are sharper, more amusing and more erudite than even Ian Hutson, who used to make his living as a writer. Amazing. It’s about noon in Costa Rica. We should hear any time, now.

        Liked by 1 person

        • No question, our Ms. Devries is one of a kind, a treasure to have as correspondent on this silly dog blog. We can even forgive the day drinking, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Hey, have you got your oh-so-popular vaccine passport yet or are you still cowering in the nether regions and avoiding the bright city lights?

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          • They’ve stopped day drinking in California? Sad.

            I have been vaccinated, twice, even, and I’m close enough to being French that I even held onto the paperwork. Over here we love our bureaucracy. But I’m not so French that I am part of the national health system. I have really good private insurance that I’ll tell you about another time. As I am not in their files, the local bureaucrats are flummoxed. They do not know how to provide me with the all-important QR code, the thing I need to get the “pass sanitaire.” This means that every time I go to a place where the pass is needed, I have to pull out my paperwork, tell them my story, show them the dates of the vaccination, wait around while the guy at the gate has a discussion with at least two other people and everybody says okay, you’re in. I’ve been here so long that this doesn’t even bother me, nor does it seem to bother anyone in line behind me. The fun stops when I get to Paris next month. Apparently the folks at the vaccination center at City Hall deal with weirdos like me All The Time and they know how to game the system to get me the code. So I have read and I do hope it’s true.

            Liked by 2 people

            • Somehow “pass sanitaire” sounds like something the hall monitor would give you so you could get to the little girl’s room at school. I know the French bureaucracy can be overwhelming but it sounds like you got a pretty good handle on traveling in the age of Covid. I watched the Olympics closing ceremony, the part where the successor host nation teases its attractions and I have to say I could hear my passport screaming “Time to go to Paris!” Of course it said the same thing about Tokyo and we saw how that turned out. I even had my native tour guide all set but instead of eating sushi and quaffing a nice sake we watched the Olympics at the kitchen table eating leftovers and slipping small treats to the pooch. Good luck getting the code!

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              • My plan is to avoid Paris during the Olympics. I’ll spare you the rant. But if you are ever as close to my house as that, you have to come down here. Plus of course you could watch TV right here. The thing about the TV coverage is that they feature athletes from the home country. So I can watch BBC for English athletes or French TV for French ones. The French get few enough medals that they fill in by featuring athletes from other EU countries, i.e., no Chinese, no anglophones, no matter how popular the sport itself may be. In case you needed further indications of how politicized the Games have become. But the TVs here are big, the sofas comfy and the food, if I do say so myself, is pretty good.

                Liked by 1 person

              • I hear you make a pretty mean pizza with that Ooni, too. You don’t have to worry about Olympic rants; I have enough of my own. Don’t forget that LA follows on Paris for the Summer Games as if that were the biggest need in Los Angeles. I somehow doubt the 2028 Games will be enough incentive to lure you back on to the 405.

                Liked by 1 person

    • Got that right. The other day I was trying to describe to a kid how So Cal was, half a century ago, what a delight it was to drive PCH from San Diego to Santa Barbara. He just looked at me in total disbelief, like he was watching History Channel, except maybe on acid or something because the TV screen had melted away and he was inside the program.

      I didn’t even get to the stories about the 605 being baby-brand new, so when I picked my brother up from surfing we could get on at the first ramp, no other cars, gun it to 130 mph and hold it until I lost my nerve. Or the stories I heard about my grandfather — not the bootlegger, the guy that replaced him — six-packing it along PCH, which was generally a dirt road back then. Six-packing, as you surely know, involves stopping at every liquor store along the way, buying a six-pack of whatever beer you are in the mood for, and finishing it before you hit the next liquor store. Pit stop, repeat, all the way, in his case, from Los Angeles to San Diego.

      One reason I moved from LA was that traffic had gotten so bad. I can only imagine what it is like now. Wait until you see the nice, empty roads we have down here.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Great tales. My first real exposure to Socal was as a teenager, arriving after a partial Route 66 road trip to have a surfing safari. It was a wondrous time and place even though, devoid of resources, we ended up camped on the floor at an Uncle’s house in Inglewood. It wasn’t far off the LAX landing path but flights weren’t that frequent and jets sufficiently few that the noise wasn’t too bad. We thought we were hot stuff but in retrospect it was all pretty innocent.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. “All in all, he’s doing pretty well.” BEST WORDS EVER! Max, you look terrific in your summer “do”. Don’t you worry about your 2am potty run. DogDad is doing the same thing….just inside!

    This post is so damn funny I laughed until the tears were flowing. Down my legs too! Wait! Oh! hell. Whoops! 🤣

    Max, Murphy sends her love as do I. We are so happy to see you looking so well and dapper. Your medication cocktail must be working because it takes great strength to put up with your dad’s shenanigans. 🤪 But we all love him for it, don’t we?
    Ginger

    Liked by 3 people

    • This was Max’s first haircut post-medical crisis and he handled it like a champ. His groomer, the lovely Miss Jessica said he showed no signs of stress or distress and he certainly came out looking a lot better than when he went in! We’ve fiddled with his meds and with the current set-up he seems to have more energy throughout the day. He’s a little bushy-tailed to go with his bright eyes.

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  3. Little Max…what to say? You only wake Gunga Dad up at 2am? That needs to be remedied. A couple more times need to be worked in. And make sure to take your time. After all the jokes at your expense…you know what they say–payback is hell! More water, little guy?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Woke up feeling a little mean today, did we? Fine, just fine. Before we adjusted his meds Max would get up two to three times per night and then, just to cap it off, barf on the carpet. Three guesses as to who was charged with handling the trips to the yard and the carpet clean up. Good thing I’m not a heavy sleeper and don’t need much shut eye. There was more than one time when I asked Max if he had ever considered the joys of being an outdoor dog. I promised a nice doghouse and everything. Fortunately for him (and me), the adjustment of meds did the trick. And it’s true, at my age I’d be getting up at least once a night anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lemme tell you how it warms my heart to read these comments. Helen is out of control, is she not? Gotta love her!
        Husband hears not a thing, but I can hear Parker getting sick any time–day or night. Always the question from me: did you see where she got sick? Of course he didn’t, so I am tiptoeing around praying I find the mess sooner rather than later.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Helen likes to sleep in and when she finally leaves the arms of Morpheus she can be quite tart in her commentary, can’t she? I’m the one with super hearing in this household, so much so that the AJF maintains I wake up if a mouse passes gas in the garden. That’s not much of an exaggeration. I feel your pain about discovering animal waste products by the touch and feel method. Worse than stepping on Legos. Warm, moist Legos that smell bad. I’ll stop now.

          Liked by 2 people

    • He’s pretty proud of his groom. We wondered if it would be stressful and even thought maybe I should take over the grooming. Well, that scared everybody including me so we carted his furry posterior off to Miss Jessica and it turned out fine. He needed it – there was more than a small whiff of Fritos in the air.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Between your post and Bitey Dog’s reminder of the blancmanges this was a Sunday morning to cherish!
    I was laughing so much that Leo asked me if I was as pleased as all that that the Olympics had stopped interrupting the cricket season.

    You have no idea of the difficulties faced by Scottish Olympic hopefuls….you have to qualify for a United Kingdom place for a start, with English officials hampering you at every turn…
    The javelin? Your rivals get javelins…they give you a caber, smirking that it is culturally appropriate, then disqualify you when it lands on one of their number,knocking out what little brain he had to begin with.
    The hop, skip and a jump? They place crossed words on the piste upon which you automatically begin to dance around them…disqualified again…
    High jump? The landing zone is furnished only with heather and you break a leg…disqualified again…
    Throwing the hammer? Disqualified for wearing nothing under the kilt…
    100m hurdles? An underhand touch here…a deep fried Mars bar placed on each obstacle…it requires superhuman powers to stuff those down your guts while keeping your rhythm…..

    And if you do get through, what do you find to eat in the Olympic Village? No fish suppers, no steak pies, no Lorne sausage, no Arbroath smokies, no haggis…and no Glasgow morning rolls! How is a Scot to give of his or her best under these conditions?

    Max only wakes you at 2.00 ack emma? Think yourself lucky. If Lois has Max’s ear you’ll be dancing a fandango throughout the night, scandalising the neighbours in your scanties….and it won’t even put off the squirrels..

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Good of you wake up so early. The crack of noon is always a pleasant time in the tropics, I’m told. I recall a Scottish gentlemen (a rarity) explaining he was something of a local champion in the throwing of the caber. He went on and on about the intricacies of said sport never realizing we all thought that a caber was a type of donut. Nonetheless we found his exploits to be impressive. Come to think of it, and I’m sorry that I did, running hurdles in a kilt would be wrong for so many reasons not the least being the danger to the athletes should a misstep occur. Discus in a kilt would be revealing, too, as the athlete spins faster and faster and the kilt rises about the waist. In light of these daunting challenges I suppose it’s understandable that trading pins was the major event for the Clans while in Tokyo. I’ll have to ask Tynecastle why the soccer teams didn’t make the cut. No doubt he’ll also have a raft of ready excuses to hand.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tom: 🥉
    Max: 🥈
    AJF: 🥇 and 🏆 She wins the gold!!! 🙂
    I think the above medals are self explanatory! 😉 😛 Does AJF roll her eyes a lot at you? Shake her head? Pretend she didn’t hear you? and ETC?!?! 😀
    (((HUGS))) 🙂
    PS…I howled with laughter reading this post! Thank you for the laughs! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Max is quite well versed! Chester has tolerated the olympics because I let him watch the equestrian events. His level of philosophizing runs more to guess what? Chicken butt as high literature. Max is looking handsome as always..not sure about the sockeye.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s a lot to be said about Chicken Butt so I wouldn’t disparage Mr. Chester’s taste in literature or philosophy. The equestrian events were one part of the Games that I skipped. My horse background begins and ends with quarter horses and draft horses and I cannot ever recall wearing a bowler and tuxedo to ride either. I can admire the the dedication and training but dressage and even jumping just didn’t ring my bell. Good thing there were no events that included squirrels although a combined shooting & squirrel target event would have been fun.

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  8. I am so happy to read that little Maxwell is doing well. My cold hard heart does have a tender spot for me, made a wee bit larger by his getting you up in the middle of the night. (See what I did there? Wee? Snicker)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Very punny. Max makes me feel like my Mom was counting on my baby toes: “…and the little one went wee, wee, wee all the way home.” Man that dog has a bladder to reckon with. I don’t mind the 2AM pee run much because, as I said above, I’d end up getting up anyway and this way we have another shared dog & dad activity.

    But…hey!…I’ve been commenting on your blog from my cellphone and I never see any of the recent comments show up!!! I thought you got po’d at me and blocked me but since you are here it’s more likely that I’ve gotten caught in your SPAM filter or am an unauthorized commenter when on mobile (Thanks WordPress grrr 😡)

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
    My donations to the ‘Dog Aid Society’ have been ended.
    No Scottish football side is allowed in the Olympics, only a ‘Team GB’ which means ‘England.’
    Ye ken whit ye can dae way that!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thanks for the update on Max. I am sure Max likes the carBanana, as it must be zummy!
    Nox wants you to let Max know that she thinks he looks very handsome his pictures and that the rug look is all the fashion for dogs everywhere!
    Thanks for the punny post!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I slip slid away from WordPress for a bit … so was unaware of darling Max’s scrape with health-issues. So so so glad he’s okay!! Now I’ll do what I always tell others not to do and read your posts backwards … Bless our boy … he is looking Great!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Slip sliding? You have been charged and found guilty of wholesale desertion of WordPress! And you’ve been missed but fortunately we are a forgiving lot here and welcome you back as our prodigal artist. Max says he’s feeling pretty good right now and we all hope that’s the start of a good long run of health!

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      • I have become notorious for abandoning my poor blog and my bloggie friends. Bad me. Ever since The Great Hijack it’s been hard to get back into the habit. But I continue to try. I am so sorry to hear about our darling Max. We had something similar with Peachie years ago … a leaky valve. But somehow the meds they put her on were … unhelpful. I still miss that little sweetie. She was my heart. https://lois-bryan.pixels.com/featured/nuttin-but-love-painterly-lois-bryan.html. You on the other hand seem to have our darling Max in the best of hands!!! And I’m so happy to hear it. Bless your doctors … and YOU for your determination to get help for da boy!!!! I know with Buddy, when he’s not his usual feisty self I’m knocking on the door of the vet right away. When Buddy is off, he’s off … and I’m on it like a duck on a bug. Fortunately, for right now, all is very well, bless him!! Sending love to you guys!!

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        • That is a wonderful image of Peachy. I always grin when I see a Maltese picture/photo. There’s just something about their little faces that makes me happy to look at them. Of course they all pretty much look the same (Max looks your King of the World image) until you get to know them better and spot the things that make them distinctive. Buddy sounds like he’s got you just where he wants you and good for him! +1 for “duck on a bug.”

          Liked by 1 person

          • About the Maltese face, Yes!!! I Know!!! There’s just something that gives everyone the “OhhCanIPetHim?”s … sadly with Budzzz … that can go either way. He’s a little unpredictable. I have to sort of judge the person, make sure their ankles are safely covered in socks and pants legs … and if they can follow instructions (don’t hug me … hold your hand out palm Down … let him sniff you … don’t squeal with delight … etc.).

            Lately Buddy seems to be mellowing. Or the heat is getting to him … 🤣🤣

            And yes, he has both of us exactly where he wants us … and right where we should be!!

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    • Well, thank you kindly from us both. He’ll readily accept all the pats, rubs and sniffs he can get and he gets a lot! Yup, he’s doing pretty good and we’ve got his meds balanced fairly well so he feels energetic and is playful. He sleeps more than before but truth to tell, so do I so maybe it’s age. Horrors!

      Liked by 2 people

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