The Eyes Have It

We had just returned from an aged citizen cattle call at the Ontario Convention Center where we received our second Pfizer vaccination. The Alpha Japanese Female, who pronounces it the “PeeFizer vaccine,” seemed a bit glum, a bit off her feed.

As at least two of you are aware, I am a very sensitive member of the male species so of course I inquired solicitously about her spirits.

“I’m feeling a little glum and off my feed,” she replied, thereby cementing my position as an intuitive mate. “I’m bored with being locked-in. I don’t even get interesting emails anymore.” That seemed a bit far-fetched so I checked her Gmail account and sure enough, the results were as she described:

Whoo Hoo!

She toddled off for a nap while Max and I discussed the situation. “What should I do to cheer her up?” I asked. Max suggested that I stick to the tried and true remedies of chocolate, flowers, wine or a small yet thoughtful husbandly gift, perhaps a set of screwdrivers or some potting soil.

“Nah,” I responded, “I want to do something different.” As inspiration struck, I could see a panicky look blossoming in the Malt’s eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking, DogDad, I beg you don’t do it,” he cautioned.

Too late. The plan was simple, like my mind. While she dozed, I was going to apply Googly Eyes all over our house. Everybody likes Googly Eyes. Nothing puts a grin back on your kisser like a set of Googly Eyes!

The obvious starting points were some of the AJF’s favorite photos.

A strong family resemblance.
Wide awake.

Moving on, I added the Googly Eyes to typical household products.

The Jolly Green Giant
The giant Milk Bones we keep for the neighbors’ monster-size Lab/Great Dane mix.
The Charmin Bear.
A jaunty desk lamp sporting Max’s sombrero.
Her electric toothbrush.

Then it occurred to me that I could add Googly Eyes to the screen of her computer to give some famous people a little more personality. The weird thing is that the computer screen changed the diffraction of light through the Eyes and created a sinister effect which may be fitting, you be the judge.

Cardi B is a little scary. Even before the Googly Eyes.
I said 2 masks! You must wear 3 masks! No, 4!
C’mon man, who are you calling “Sleepy?”

Some politicians didn’t need the addition of Googly Eyes:

You knew these photos would show up, didn’t you?

Perhaps scariest of all was Demonic Dog created by adding the Googly Eyes to an old photo of Maxwell:

“I told you not to do this! Now you must pay!”

Over the course of an hour and a half, I added Googly Eyes to many more things and images around the house. Cooking utensils. Dials on the stove. A mug or two. A plethora of refrigerator items. Basically, if it didn’t move it got Googly Eyes.

I was very proud of my work and waited impatiently for the AJF to wake up and discover my handiwork. Sure enough, she popped up a little later and declared that she was refreshed and ready to cook dinner.

So far though, she has not once mentioned the hundreds of Googly Eyes that are staring at her from all over the house. Not a smile; not a peep. Not even a slow shake of her head.

It’s like the Googly Eyes are invisible and that’s pretty much how she is treating Max and me, too. If you don’t hear from either of us after a while, send help. I might have gone too far this time.

53 replies

  1. My first thought was: “You keep a supply of Googly Eyes in your house?” Actually that was my only thought. Invisible, you say? Oh, buddy…..you are in so much trouble. A favorite saying of mine: Don’t get mad. Get even. Chunk is ready to go when you need him…..

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I thought you were going to come up with a creative way to solicit funny emails from friends and family to cheer your wife. How much more entertaining the Googly Eyes! (Well, for us, anyway.) 😝

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, now I want to add google eyes to everything, including Trump 😆 and all the other silly political figures to make my husband laugh. That is a hysterical idea. Congrats on your vaccine, I can’t wait to get ours so we can get out more 🙏🏻

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Tom, you’ve gone so far over the top now I don’t know how you’re breathing in the thin air! Yet I was hysterical laughing at your display of Googly Eyes. When I used to do a lot of crafts, Googly Eyes was a staple. Always good for a laugh, and laughter is much needed, especially now.

    Murphy is sad you didn’t attempt a ‘selfie’ with Googly Eyes!

    Glad you both got your vaccines. Hope the AJF is feeling fine now. You realize that one day, when you least expect it, all your Googly Eyes will have disappeared!

    If I were you, I would never close my eyes again!!
    Ginger

    Liked by 2 people

    • I did a selfie where I put the Eyes on my sunglasses but, along with several other photos, it didn’t make the cut. Googly Eyes need to be a staple for everybody these days. I am already planning on a few victims outside the home – stay tuned.

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  5. HA!!! These made me sn👀rt-laugh!!! 😀 😛 Everything becomes funner with googly eyes! 👀
    You are THE most wonderful-est hubby, Tom! HA! 🙂 But, I have a feeling the way you’ve stayed alive all of these years is the fact that AJF ignores you oft-times and goes on with life. 😉
    Thanks for the laughs!!! 🤣 😀
    (((HUGS))) 😀
    PS…Wait…I just realized…I get a lot of eye rolls when I speak…hmm…what’s up with that?!?! 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

  6. You say your good lady is cooking supper…would those cheap riceballs from an earlier post be on the menu…or your own?
    I had never encountered Googly Eyes..I must mix in the wrong circles….but I am puzzled. How come you have so many of them just to hand?
    I suspect Max will be allowed to return from Coventry long before your good self.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Why do so many people not have Googly Eyes available to them? I checked with my good friend Google Translate who says that “Les yeux écarquillés” is the appropriate French phrase but I’m not sure that captures the silliness of the original. I would think there are many opportunities in Costa Rica for surreptitiously applying Googly Eyes – political posters, at the market, the Neighbour’s mailbox and so on. If you need some I have a few hundred just laying about here.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Many thanks….a very tempting offer once am back to myself again…..and the general election is on for 1922! Should you be kind enough to send a quantity they might just clear customs by then….

        Liked by 2 people

    • Those are the giant Milk Bones that are larger than Nox. Max also gazes longingly at the jumbo treats that go to “Boomer” the huge Lab/Dane mix. He resents that we have a special treat stockpile for the next-door dog.

      Like

  7. The force is strong in her. It must take so much willpower to not even acknowledge the eyes, especially on such a beautiful sombrero. AOC was frightening enough without the googly eyes, and sleepy Joe looked positively zombie-like. Very creative! My son put googly eyes on a long dead relative framed in our living room and there they have remained for over a year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • When done discreetly, a Googly Eye attack can go unnoticed for a long time and that’s half the fun. But this was an all-out blitz so the lack of attention is feigned and serves some devious purpose as yet unrevealed.

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  8. Brilliant…just brilliant! Shall I email the AJF an image of the box of different sized Googly Eyes I have (somewhere in my craft studio)? Happy to help out if you think it’ll put the shine back in her eyes. Yeah, this panDAMNic is starting to get to people. Clearly. 👀

    Liked by 1 person

    • See! I knew I wasn’t the only one who had some Googly Eyes around the house! So far, still no acknowledgment of my latest deed although I did notice the two little eyes I had put on her electric toothbrush were missing.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Love love love the googly eyes idea … hoping there’s a chapter 2 with reactions???

    I’m having such fun this afternoon visiting with you and Max … for some reason my ability to “like” your post isn’t cooperating … but rest assured, I like, I like!!!!!!!!!! Wishing you all a great weekend!!!! …

    Liked by 1 person

    • The problem is that nobody likes our posts so WordPress simply assumes it can turn off the feature. Max and I get no respect, no respect at all (insert Rodney Dangerfield eyes.) Enjoy your temporary Spring – looks like we’re sending you East Coasters a bunch more winter.

      Like

      • I re-discovered the “like” trick … I can do so as long as I’m using the WordPress.Com thingie. App. thingie. But here, I cannot. I can, however, comment (well, fingers crossed this goes thru!). So weird. And talk about WP being a pain? If you noticed, the icon for little me when I responded to your note, wasn’t me At All!!! That gal is a computer / WP genius, and helped me set up my current blog (after somehow apparently I managed to invite hackers in who completely killed my original … and managed to eat into her set up as well). Sigh. Bad Lois. Anyway. You know how it is, we do the best we can, right???

        Liked by 1 person

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